T.G.I.F NEWS

THANK GOODNESS IT'S FAKE...

MR. T. GOES BALLISTIC..(JAN 19) The President of the United States, duly elected with a minority of ballots cast. (The largest minority of ballots cast that won the electoral vote, in history, really really big minority, you should have seen the non crowds at the big ceremony), has not denied sleeping with adult movie stars, stating he didn't know they were stars, after all no awards were given to them for the performance, and he got a Grammy.

(Jan 9) POTUS, duly elected with a minority of ballots cast, was seen in Florida shooting golfs. Jed Clampett was along with him trying to spot the golfs for him so he could have a clear shot. I think he shot 70.

(Jan 17) Former buddy pal and fellow onanist to, the duly elected with a minority of ballots cast, POTUS, Steve Bannon was set to be a person in front of the committee of overpaid lobbyists employees and decided that he would drink, and claim the fifth. The committee was determined to 'compell him with sticks and stones' but in the end, he was only stoned. (Maybe he was reminded of his days as a Rock star.) His testimony was limited in it's scope, and many thought he should utilize Scope as his breath was as unpleasant as his visage and demeanor.

Jan 19.. The POTUS, duly elected with a minority of ballots cast, agreed to sign the Continuing Resolution to keep the government afloat for thirty more days and agreed to DACA stuff later in the year if they still let him order steak and ketchup with a side of KFC. Once assured that would be allowed he got his crayons out to practice his signature and coloring within the lines.

Jan 18.. The POTUS, duly elected with a minority of ballots cast, decried the lack of workers for his Mir-a-Lago resort. When reminded by his staff that most of them had been deported because they were here illegally, he replied. “Well most of them didn't know how to clean a toilet anyway because where they came from they didn't even have running water, much less toilets.”

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